SADDLETROUT STUDIOS
presents
WEIRD INVENTIONS
From The Attic
All rules of practical design were ignored to bring you this exhibit of
crazy devices.
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INDOOR SUNDIAL
This device allows you to use a sundial even when the sun isn't
shining. The accurate clock motor keeps lamp in rotation around the
dial just like the sun. Correct orientation is accomplished by
free-turning design of the lamp bracket rotor. This unique timepiece
blends ancient world charm with antiquated nineteenth century
technology. Uses regular household current and voltage. Weight=800
lbs.
a) lamp
b) dial platform
c) lamp bracket rotor
d) motor
e) base
100 watt light bulb not included |
WRIST MODEL
For those on the go, this special scaled-down wrist model is just
the ticket. Based on the same principle as its larger cousin, this
version is much lighter and runs on a small computer battery hidden
under the dial surface.
Idea for "wrist model" sent in by Brent Weingard of New York.
Thank you Brent! |
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| FRUIT CAKE POWERED
CHRISTMAS TREE |
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This easy to use device lets you make a simple battery from a
traditional holiday fruitcake.
First, soak the cake in lemon juice. Then insert the anode (b) and
cathode (c) into fruitcake (d). The lemon juice and natural fruit
acids contained in the cake do the rest.
Special low voltage, direct current Christmas lights (a) are
designed to be fully compatible with the power output of a typical
fruitcake.
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SNORMUFFLER
The first Snormuffler was designed by Frieda Magrib in an attempt to
quiet her husband's unusually loud snoring. Though the principle
(that of using a muffler to reduce sound wave intensity) worked in
theory, the actual device never really performed the way it was
intended. Because the air intake valves necessary for breathing
would, of course, be open during inhalation, no snores were ever
muffled since the sounds associated with snoring occur during
inhalation. Even though the Snormuffler failed as an anti-snoring
device, it did, however, make an excellent "laugh muffler" useful
for those who often find themselves needing to laugh at
inappropriate times. Frieda got earplugs.
a)mask b)air valves c)vacuum cleaner hose d)muffler |
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DOUBLE TIN HORN
This special head attachment allows for hands-free double tin horn
usage. Superior to hand held models, this passive audio device
provides wider signal reception as well as directional variability.
Unit is completely self-powered and wax resistant. Not recommended
for children or adults. Should not be worn in buildings with low
ceilings. May attract lightening and/or unwanted verbal abuse.
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UNI-DIRECTIONAL MODE
BI-DIRECTIONAL MODE |
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WEDGE-PROOF UNDERWEAR
This simple, yet effective, device prevents "wedging" of
undergarments. It is effective for all types of "wedging", from
natural "ride-up" to sudden bully-induced trauma wedging.
Fully adjustable and machine washable, wedge-proof underwear lets
you stroll confidently, even when there are large groups of
dim-witted, attention seeking bullies lurking about.
a) heavy duty reinforced waistband
b) high tension socks
c) adjustable straps
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POLITICAL HOT AIR COLLECTOR
Political windbags have always been allowed to spew their hot air
directly into the atmosphere. Now, once wasted energy can be put to
use. When placed above a podium or built into the ceiling of a
broadcast studio, this special hood can be used to direct the hot
gases into a building's heating ducts helping to warm the building.
Entire city blocks can be heated depending on who is behind the
microphone! Works equally well for Liberals and Conservatives.
Larger forum models are available.
a) heating duct connection
b) collector hood
c) hot gases rise to collector hood
d) heat resistant microphone
e) podium or broadcast console
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YAK-A-TRON 2000
We all know someone who talks a little more than their share. The
act of talking can expend a lot of energy. Now, harness this energy
with the YAK-A-Tron 2000. The cushioned chin stirrup is designed to
transfer jaw movement to the generator above. The resulting current
flows to the storage cell mounted behind the generator. Energy
stored is directly proportional to the amount of jaw movement
produced by person wearing the device. Once it's charged up, the
storage cell can be used to power lights and other appliances.
a) generator
b) storage cell
c) helmet
d) chin stirrup
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"SCRATCH MASTER"
mosquito bite scratcher
Declared "unsafe" and banned by the Safety Council for having
dangerous exposed moving parts, the "Scratch Master" never made it
to production. Its original design, shown here, enabled a person to
scratch hard-to-reach areas of the body. Users would risk injury by
backing up to the device, positioning the irritated area for best
relief.
Though dangerous and cumbersome, there are those who claim it to
have been "The best darn scratcher ever".
*
Idea for a mosquito bite scratcher sent by Rachel Mckenna.
Thank you very much, Rachel! Your idea is appreciated.
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HYPNO-GLASSES
Take control with the power of hypnosis!
Ever get passed up at work for a long overdue raise? Next time don't
beg and complain...just put on a pair of "Hypno-Glasses" and have
the boss look into your eyes. You'll get what you deserve, and then
some. With a little practice, Hypno-Glasses can change your life.
Small battery operated motors concealed in the temple pieces rotate
the special hypnotic spiral disks. CAUTION--Do not look into a
mirror while using Hypno-Glasses! |
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ANTI-SMOKING COWBOY HAT
SURF-N-SURF
This contraption started as a joke drawn on a restroom wall by a
draftsman working for the Mega Corporation.
While checking the restroom for "slackers" one day, the company's
president, Wilfred Fatbucks, became convinced such a device could
become the "next craze". To "beat the competition" he demanded
immediate production.
In spite of protests from his staff and engineers, 10,000
Surf-N-Surfs were manufactured, tested and sunk. The Mega
Corporation went bankrupt soon after. |
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