|
|
Sardar jokes...
To, All My Dear Friends:
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on
Wednesday.
Drunk sardarji is taken to court for an offence. Judge says Order
Order.. Sardarji says 1 bottle whiskey and 2 sodas
Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?" "Sure." "Give me a
green one, please."
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" "
Just a sec," says the rep. Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly
filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the
column "Salary Expected" : He was not sure as to what to be filled
there. After much thought he wrote : Yes
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of
crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search
is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a
huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily
exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk,
"What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos
flask." The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It
keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." The sardar says,
"I'll take it!" The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask." The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The boss
said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" The sardar replies, "Two cups of
coffee and a coke."
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in
Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting
complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ? He will compare it
with the original for spelling mistakes !! What will a sardarji do if he
wants an additional white sheet of paper ? (he already has one and he
wants one more..) He takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were
planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get
Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a difficult
question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack
USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll
automatically get developed." All the surds became happy on this very
simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone
asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT
BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"
Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would
like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. Sorry, we don't sell
to SARDARs," he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and changed
his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy
this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied. "Damn, he
recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time,
haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a
few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy
this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. Frustrated, he
exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?" "Because that's a microwave,"
he replied.
Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed.
How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence? Stick a tire pressure gauge
in his ear
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin
and throw it back. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run
like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re train
them on Monday.
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel. What do
you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes? The back of his head. What
do you call a sardar who drinks only beer? Just beer Singh ('T'
silent!).
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink? Just one Singh.
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms? They think their
picture is being taken.
Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it. Why
can't Sardar dial 911? They can not find the eleven on the phone How do
you get Sardar on the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house.
"Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardar looked skyward and said "Where,Where?
What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them
but you never see them.
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a
regular one? You have to hollow out the head.
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300
days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called
the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor. I'm 2400 kms from home."
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh
asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the
Railway man. "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon
sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" Sardarji
replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to
janwar hai, usko kya pata "
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes
along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon
bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train late
aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the
guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the
station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees,
the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep,
the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the
Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash
his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife "
What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20
rupees and woken up someone else"
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started
thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him
for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise
I would have been missing too."
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese." "How come you write
"Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" " Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper,
it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" ( it's the barking
sound) Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the
white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the
dogs and don't touch anything!"
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower
when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a
ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for
several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken. On the next day the
Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks
him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a
ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a
fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get
into a double decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom
seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when
the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met
Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands,
scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on?
Why are you so scared? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta
replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"
Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him
what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt
and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally
picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." " Oh Dear! " the doctor
exclaimed in disbelief. "But. what happened to your other ear?" "The
scoundrel called back."
|
|
