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Sardar jokes...
Once Santa Singh was filling
up an application form for a job. He promptly
filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to
the
column SEX. He was not sure as to what was to be filled there. After
much
thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his application
form, he
was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was
either
MALE or FEMALE. Again Santa thought for a long time before coming up
with
an answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.
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Banta Singh went to an eye
specialist to get his eyes tested and asked
"Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
Yes of course," said the doctor, "why not!"
"Oh How nice it would be I have been illiterate for so long" replied
Banta
with joy.  |
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The sardarni asked his lover,
Santa Singh "Santa darling, if we get
engaged will you give me a ring?" "Sure" said Santa, "what's your
phone
number?"
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A sardar is so stupid that: -
He puts make up on his head so he can make up his mind
He gets stabbed in a shoot out
He sends a fax with a stamp on it
He tries to drown a fish
He tries to push a bird of a cliff
He thinks socialism means partying
He trips over a cordless phone
He takes a ruler to bed to see how long it sleeps
He puts Sagittarius in the box for "sign here" o the application
form
He studies for a blood test and fails
He sells the car for gas money
He misses the 44 bus and takes the 22 twice
He drives to the airport and sees a sign that said "Airport Left"
turns
around and goes home
He gets locked in a furniture shop and sleeps on the floor
He calls you to get your phone number
He spends 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said
concentrate
He tells you to meet at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk"
He tries to put M&M's in alphabetical order
He sits on the TV and watches the couch
He thinks that a quarterback was a refund
He gets locked in a grocery store and starves to death
He would give you change when u gave him a penny for his thoughts
They had to burn down the school to get him out of third grade
He puts "Hooked on Phonics" under education on the application form
He takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
He would be speechless if he spoke his mind
He thinks that Boyz II men was a day-care centre
He thinks that Meow Mix was a record for cats
He ask for a price check at the dollar store
He thinks you need a token to get on Soul train
He went home and got 16 friends when he saw the NC-17 (under 17 not
admitted)
He moved when he heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home
He thinks that Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
He laughs at a joke on Saturday when he was told it on the
Wednesday.  |
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There were 4 sardars in
Mumbai. They decided to start a business.They had a lot of
discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start
a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the
hotel. The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer.
The
sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The story was the
same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up.
WHY?
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed"
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto
garage.
They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started
the
garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive
but no
car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week
but no
car came to their garage. WHY?
B'cos their garage was on the first floor.
After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi
driving.
They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look
for
passengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi.
They
went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to
Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed their taxi. In
desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alas no one
hailed
their taxi.
WHY ?
B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.
All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided
to
push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing
their
taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi
did
not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start
the
next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just
wouldnt
move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldnt budge.
WHY?
B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.
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A sardar had arrived early at
the stadium for the first cricket game of
the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had
left his
ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning,he went
to the
ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat. After an
hour's wait
he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey,
Balbir!"
He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the the person.
Then
he realized he had lost his place in the line, and had to go back to
the
end of the line and wait all over again. After he had purchased his
ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to buy a coke.The line at the
concession stand was also very long, but since the game hadn't
started he
decided to wait.Just as he got to the window, a voice called out
"Hey,
Balbir!"
Again He got out of line as he wandered looking for that person.But
no
luck. He was very upset as he got back in line for his coke.
Finally, he
had his coke and took his seat, eager for the game to begin.As he
waited
for the first pitch, he heard the voice calling, "Hey, Balbir!" once
more
He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "My name isn't
Balbir!"  |
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Santa and his two friends are
talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I
think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other
day I
came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't
mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with
the
plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't
mine."
Santa says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both
his
friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other
day I
came home and found a jockey under our bed."
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Santa and a friend are
sitting in a cinema. Just before the break they see
a cactus and in some distance a cowboy. During the break the friend
says
to santa:"I bet the cowboy will ride into the cactus."
Santa answers: "I do not believe that."
They agree that the loser invites the winner to a bottle of wine
after the
film.
It turns out that the friend wins. So after the film they drink
together
the bottle of wine in a restaurant near the cinema.
Then the friend says: "I must confess that the bet was not fair. I
saw the
film for the second time."
Then Santa replies: "And I saw it for the fourth time, but I did not
think
that this fool rides into the cactus again."
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Talking about those days when
there were no mosquito repellents and we had
to spend sleepless nights. A Surd was also experiencing the same
every
time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep
with a
sound "guooonn, guooonn."
He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem
remains
persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his
hand. He
is very kind and not going for the blood shed still wanted to take
revenge.
Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar,
bete
so ja (Go to sleep, O dear mosquito, go to sleep)" After some time
he
finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands. So he goes
near
it and says "guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
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One day there was a Bihari
going in a Fiat Car at 45KMPH on a highway and
enjoying his drive.
Suddenly a Sardaji came Booiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn on a Honda and peeped
into the
car and shouted at the Bihari - "Kabhi honda chalaya kya?" and sped
off,
The Bihari was surprised but he did not bother. After some time the
Surd
came Booiiiinnnnnnnnnnn... in the opposite direction, peeped into
the car
and shouted again "kabhi honda chalaya kya?" and sped off , This
time the
Bihari was annoyed , since the surd was teasing about his driving.
After some time again the Surd came back speeding and said the same
thing
peeping into the car. The Bihari was about to say something but the
Surd
goes off. This time the Bihari increased his speed but suddenly
stopped as
he found the Surd lying on the road, bleeding.
He got down and mocked at the Surd "Kyon Surd , Kabhi Honda chalaye
kya?"
The Surd said "Wohi to puch raha tha, Mein Brakes ko dhoond rahatha."
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surd wants to somehow get a
doctorate. One of his friend advises him to
do research in zoology. So the surd decides to do his research in
zoology,
that too with a Frog. He first keeps the frog on a table and asks it
to
jump. It jumps.
Now he cuts one of its legs and keeps it over the table. Again he
asks it
to jump. Again frog jumps.
Getting boosted by this development, now he cuts another leg and
asks the
frog to jump. The frog jumps again.
Getting wondered about it, now he cuts the third leg and again asks
it to
jump. The rog jumps.
Now he could not control the suspense and cuts the fourth leg and
ask the
frog to jump. It doesn't. Immediately the surd writes in his thesis
"If
you cut all the four legs of a frog, it will become deaf."
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A Surd prime minister visited
the president of the neighbouring country
and complained about all this jokes about surds that others tell
each
other. "This leads to the impression that all surds are stupid", he
said.
"You should not take this so earnestly",answered the neighbouring
minister, "These are only jokes and not true stories. And there are
also
stupid people in our country. I will prove it to you."
Saying so, he went to his driver and said: "Please drive to my home
and
find out, whether I am at home." The driver immediately went on his
way.
The surd prime minister was satisfied: "He is very stupid indeed.
There is
a public phone just at the corner. It would have been easier to call
and
check!"
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Santa Singh: "My doctor told
me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to
cure my cold."
Banta Singh: "Does it work?"
Santa Singh: "I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot
bath."
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