Wrongly Concentrated
Q: Why did the sardar stare at a can of orange juice for four hours?
A: The can had 'Concentrate' printed on it.

Paint It Right
Once Banta Singh went to U.S.A and was unable to find a job. An Englishman asked him to paint his house porch. Banta finished it in no time and went to the Englishman for his pay. The latter was astonished with his efficiency and asked if he had painted the porch correct

At Snail's Pace
Rajashekhar was telling Jawahar Singh about his huge farm near Bangalore. "I leave in the morning, drive in my jeep till sunset, continue driving the next day. And it’s only at tea time that I reach my neighbour’s farm."
"Oh, we have such worn out slow jeeps in Punjab too!" said Jawahar Singh.

Death Comes Calling
Hardeep Singh was thunderstruck to read his obituary in the morning paper. He called up his friend Sher Singh. "The paper says I’m dead," he blabbered. "Yes, I know, but where are you calling from?" asked the guy at the other end

Remembering Martyrs
A sardar and a Bengali were once in a train. They decided to pass their time with some game. The Bengali said that they would pluck one hair from the other's beard by naming one martyr from one's native place. The game started. The Bengali said, "Bose."
It continued till the sardar was exhausted and the Bengali was still on. Finally, the sardar yelled, "Jalianwala Bagh" and pulled down Bengali's beard!

Too Far To See
While travelling a sardar was carrying a binocular with him. But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window. A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying binoculars. The sardar simply said , "I am on my way to see a distant relative."

Kora Kagaz
Once there was a sardarji walking on a road, until he came across a plain paper fallen on the road. Seeing this paper he became very happy and thought he would xerox the page into millions of copies and then sell them as note books.

Fly Away
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to 'Punjab Airways.' We apologise for the four day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
'Punjab Airways' has an excellent record for safety. In fact, our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! I take great pleasure in announcing that starting this year, over 50 per cent of our passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don't quite make it, 'Punjab Airways' staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the kith and kin. Our stewardess Bubbly will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth, pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits, provided you have paid for the coupons twice!
For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
Smoking is not allowed in this aeroplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the aunts and swimming shorts to the uncles, for emergency jumps!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. However, if we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase.
Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew's wedding. But please make yourself at home and help yourself to a visit to the cock pit.
Thank you for choosing 'Punjab Airways'. Have a nice journey!