A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I bor-rowed a book last week, but it was the
most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!" The
librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."
 

A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird
dropped a load when it was directly over him. The Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."

A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

Sardarji ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
Sardarji : 'I keep forgetting things.'
Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
Sardarji : 'What problem?'

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK. A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered "No No Me Banta Singh." Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai." (Translation ... Idiot everyone is looking for you and you are relaxing here!!!!!)
 

One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a honeymoon tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a hospital (Breach Candy) was trying to fill some form. So the couple enquired eagerly " Sardarji what are you doing ?" Sardarji replied that I had a baby and I filling the birth certificate form. The couple as per schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi for their next destination. On the next day, they find the Sardarji in Delhi filling the same form. So once again young couple asked" Sardarji what are you doing ?" Once again replied that I had a baby and I filling the birth certificate form. The couple said but sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same form, how come you're in Delhi? Sardarji coolly replied "The form says FILL IN CAPITAL.

Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed. "What happened ?" asked Surjit. "Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet." "But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?" " Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "
 

A surd was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home. On his way home the same surd drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time he drove eight miles, he had cleaned 43 restrooms.
One sardarji was appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.".
 

One rainy day Sardar singh was travelling by his new FERRARI car. He was not a very good driver and so, did not have complete control on it. Mike tyson was also riding his bike on the same road . At a speed breaker sardar's car came in contact with tyson's bike . Tyson got very angry.
He dragged sardar out of the car and threw him a few yards away from the car. Tyson then drew a small circle around sardar and shouted " Hey !! It's not easy for you to damage my bike and get away . Now i will be thrashing your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash your car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately".
Then tyson turned towards the car and he smashad its side indicators. Then he looked at sardar . Sardar looked at tyson sarcastically. Tyson's anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked at sardar. Sardar grinned at tyson. Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he broke the side doors and tore away the seats of the car. Then he again looked at Sardar. Sardar was laughing so hard that he could hardly stand. This time Tyson came to Sardar and he told " oh ! what is this ? I am spoiling your expensive car and you are so happy about it ?" Sardar replied " Every time you turned towards the car I was out of the circle and you did not notice it . I have fooled you. You are a fool .."
 

BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier. Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. He immediately began to sweat. By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating, trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter. Hari Singh: "The BMW people made me fool. They have given me the Car without the engine." Gani Singh: "Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that."
 

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. Hari Singh asks "What happens if the bombs blast off now". Gani Singh says "Don't worry. I have a sparebomb in the back seat"
 

Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
 

Once our Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes
 

A Sarder goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The Sarder then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The Sarder says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His Sarder boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sarder replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
 

A Sarder took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh.. we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd
replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"

Once a sardarji was selected in Kaun Banega Crorepati. He was sitting next to Amitabh Bachchan.
Amitabh: 'Sat sri akal ji'
Sardarji: 'Sat sri akal'
Amitabh: 'To aap Delhi se hain'
Sardarji: 'Ji haan'
Amitabh: 'To aap yahan apne pitaji ke saath aaye hain'
Sardarji: 'Ji haan'
Amitabh: 'Apke pitaji ka naam'
Sardarji: 'Humm'
Amitabh: 'Apke pitaji ka naam'
Sardarji: 'Humm'
Amitabh: 'Hamne pucha apke pitaji ka naam'
Sardarji: 'Apne char option to deeye hei nahin !!!!!'
 

A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."
 

sardarji #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
sardarji #2: "No, who wrote it?"
 

Banta Singh was shifting his residence. He was packing his belongings. By midnight he was too tired and dozed off with the house door open. A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh found it very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him! "When this smart guy finishes packing, I will catch him". Banta was a hefty guy; so when the burglar finished packing, Banta Singh jumped on him and tied him up. Then he went to the police station and reported the matter. "What did you do to the thief"? "I tied his hands; you come and collect him". "I hope you tied his legs too". Banta Singh felt a cold feeling in his spine; he had forgotten about the legs. He sat down for a while. Then he cheered up and said,"Inspector Sab, the thief, he will still be there". "How do you know"? "Well, that fellow is also a Sardarji".
 

SURD: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?" MAN: "It's 3:15." SURD: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
 

Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh

Once upon a time Santa Singh visits France. He went into a restaurent and called out for the waiter. Surprisingly the waiter was also a sardar! Santa said, 'Donnez moi une biere (give me one beer)!' The waiter said, 'I'm sorry mujhko French nahi aati.' On hearing this Santa said, 'Oye tujhko french nahi aati to jaa kissi ko bula ke laa jisko aati ho… mujhko beer ka order dena hai!'
 

One day Santa's neighbor visits him and sees Santa crying. The neighbour: What had happened? Santa: My mother died yesterday. The neighbor made him some coffee and settled him down a little and then left. The next day the same neighbor went back over to the house and found Santa crying again. The neighbour: Why are you crying today Santa? Santa: I just got off of the phone with my brother, his mother died too!
 

Some tourists in the Punjab Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, Santa Singh 'Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?' Santa replied, 'They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.' 'That's an awfully exact number,' says the tourist. 'How do you know their age so precisely?' Santa answered, 'Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago.'
 

Two fast friends, Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were great cricket fanatics. They decided that whoever dies first will try to come back in the dreams of the other, and tell the other about the cricket scenario in the heaven. Santa Singh dies first. One day as Banta was fast sleep, he heard Santa calling him. He was very happy and was eager to know about cricket there. "So, Santa! How is cricket in heaven?" Santa replied, "Hey Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that tomorrow we are going to have a day & night tournament here in heaven. And the bad news is that you are the opening bowler for tommorrow's match!"
 

Teacher asked a question " what is 5 plus 4, banta singh replied : 9. again teacher asked a question " what is 4 plus 5 banta singh replied: are u trying to fool me , you have just twisted the figure the answer is 6
 

Once one sardar and one pathan were traveling in one train. Sardar was trying to open his suitcase to take out his night dress. But he was unable to open it. Pathan came and opened the suitcase & said " Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai" and went off . After an hour sardar was busy in opening his lunch box. But he could not opened it. Pathan came, opened the box & said "Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai" and went off . After some time sardar was trying to open door of toilet but he couldn't . Again Pathan came and opened it with one kick and said " Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai" This time sardar was to angry he asked pathan "oye muzhe ek gal bata, teri ma jungle gayi thi ya sher tere ghar aaya tha?"