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Ramayana As told by
Bill Gates.......(gets on ure nerve after the interval)...
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LAN LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of
I/O-dhya, there ruled a
PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once
he EXCUTED a great sacrifice
PROGRAM after which his
queens gave an OUTPUT of four
SUNS - RAM, LSI-man, BUG-rat,
and SED-rughana.
RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP
with excellent MEMORY.
His brothers, however, were
only PERIPHERAL ICS. Once when
RAM was only 16MB, he
married princess C-ta. 12 years
passed and DOS-rat decided to
INSTALL RAM as his
successor.
However, queen CIE/CAE, who
was once offered a boon by
DOS-rat for a life saving
HELP COMMAND, took this
opportunity at the instigation
of er BIOSed maid, and
insisted that her son BUG-rat be
installed and that
RAM be BOOTED to the forest for
14 years. At this cruel and
unexpected demand, a SURGE
passed thru DOS-rat and due
to FATAL ERROR he collapsed,
power-less. RAM agreed to
LOG INTO forest and C-ta
insisted to LOGIN with him.
LSI-man was also resolved
on LOGGING IN with his
brother.
The forest was the dwelling of
SPARC-nakha, the
TRANSISTOR of RAW-wan,
PROCESSOR of
LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's
stature, she proposed that
he marry her. RAM politely
denied. Perceiving C-ta to be the
SOURCE CODE for her
distress, she hastened to kill
her. Weeping SPARC-nakha fled to
LAN-ka, where
RAW-wan, moved by TRANSISTOR's
plight, approached his
uncle MAR-icha.
MAR-icha REPROGRAMMED himself
into the form of a
golden stag and drew RAM deep
into
the forest. Finally, tired of chase,
RAM shot the
deer, who, with his last breath,
cried out desperately for LSI-man
in RAM's voice.
Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM's
SOUND, C-ta urged LSI-man to his
brother's aid.
Catching the opportunity,
RAW-wan
DELINKED C-ta from her LIBRARY
and changed her ROOT
DIRECTORY (or HOME PAGE) to
LAN-ka.
INTERVAL
RAM and LSI-man started LINEAR
SEARCHING for the
missing C-ta all over the forest.
They made friendship with the
SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR of
forest SU-greev and his
powerful co-processor
Ha-NEUMAN. SU-greev agreed to
help RAM.
SU-greev ordered his
PROGRAMMERS to use powerful
BINARY & BOOLEAN SEARCH
techniques
to FIND the missing C-ta. His
PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all
around the INTER-NETworked
forests. Many tried to EXCITE the
birds and animals
not to forget the WEBWLERS
(Insects) and tried to INFO SEEK
something about C-ta.
Some of them even shouted
YAHOO but they all ended up with
NOT FOUND MESSAGES.
Several other SERACH techniques
proved useless.
Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISCy
TECHNOLOGY
and used it to cross the seas at an
astonishing CLOCK
SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN
DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka.
After doing some local
SEARCH, he found C-ta weeping
under a TREE STRUCTURE.
Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID
(ring) to identify himself to
C-ta. After ECRYPTING
the KEY, C-ta believed in him and
asked him to send a
STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM.
Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS
around C-ta captured
Ha-NEUMAN and tried to DELETE
him using pyro-techniques. But
Ha-NEUMAN managed to
spread chaos by using the VIRUS
'FIRE'. Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed
ESCAPE from LAN-ka
and conveyed all the STATUS
MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev.
RAW-wan decided to take the all
powerful RAM head-on
and prepared for the battle.
One of the RAW-wan's SUN almost
DELETED RAM and
LSI-man with a powerful
brahma-astra. But Ha-NEUMAN
resorted to some ACTIVE-X
gradients and REBOOTED RAM and
LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE
CODE secrets of RAW-wan
and once for all wiped out
RAW-wan's presence on earth.
After the battle, RAM got
INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and
spreaded his MICRO SOFT WORKS
and other USER FRIENDLY
PROGRAMS to all USERS and
every one lived happily everafter.
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