Platonic Relationships - Can They Really Work?

Platonic relationships have been the subject of countless books, movies and sitcoms, and for good reason. There’s enough potential heartbreak associated with platonic relationships to keep writers busy for years. But the question is, can platonic relationships really work? Well, before we can answer that question, we need to know what is meant by a platonic relationship.

What Exactly is a Platonic Relationship?

Though a little different from Plato’s original concept of love, in modern times the terms “platonic love” and “platonic relationship” have come to mean a relationship between individuals of the opposite sex marked by the absence of romance or sex.

So to put it simply, a platonic relationship is a close friendship between a man and women.

Why Should There Be a Problem?

The reason platonic friendships can be difficult is genetics. For a good portion of us, attraction to the opposite sex is genetically “hardwired” into our psyche. There’s no way to avoid it. We find the physical form of the opposite sex attractive, the opposite sex exudes pheromones that we find attractive, even something as simple of the timbre of the voice of a member of the opposite can trigger a romantic response in us.

Add to that the fact that nothing makes a romantic relationship more successful then when the people involved are “friends first”, and it’s easy to see why platonic relationships can be difficult to keep strictly platonic.

Are They Possible?

Of course they are. George Washington and Betsy Ross where close platonic friends as well as other historical figures. Platonic relationships abound, and I'm sure that if you think about your own circle of acquaintances, you will discover platonic relationships that are working quite well.

But many platonic relationships do not work well. When romantic feelings spring up in both parties, then the friendship turns into a romantic relationship and everyone is happy. But a good portion of the time only one of the friends becomes attracted to the other, and then the platonic relationship is in trouble.

When the Friendship Goes Awry

Anyone who has ever been in love with someone who does not share that feeling knows the pain and frustration that comes with that situation. If the friend whose feelings have shifted towards romance can suppress or ignore those feelings, the platonic friendship can continue on as before. But often times that’s not possible and as sad and painful as it,sometimes friendships end.

So, can platonic relationships work? Yes they can. Romantic feelings between the sexes don't always exist, leaving room for a very fulfilling and lasting friendship.