The Imperfect Couple
They've finally gone and done it! The parents have arranged one
of those "meetings" where the "Any Other Business" is "Would you
like pink balloons or red ones at the wedding reception?"
Yes! You're being introduced to a potential marriage partner. But
to your horror Prince/Princess Charming(less) has a personality
about as interesting as your big toe, wears clothes straight from
the Patiala fashion show for Punjabi Farmers, has a face like a
Pizza (with extra olives) and worst of all is an
Accountant!
Lady: "Naheeeee! Mummy, don't force me to spend the
rest of my life with this uloo!
So how do you tell them that you're not interested? Well, there
are obvious ways to say "Take a hike, Jack (or Jaswinder)!" but that
could lead to teary eyes all round! So for your well-being The
Funjabis have put together "Ten Ways To Say Get Lost - With A
Smile." It may help you to adjourn the meeting more gracefully so
you can live to have another one the following weekend!
- Wipe your nose on your sleeve and then wipe it on theirs -
twice!
- Order a bucket of ghee to put in your saag during roti.
- Sit on the dining table and shout loudly for food!
- Tell them about your cuddly animal with which you like to
sleep (ie the neighbor's bullock)!
- After roti, lick your plate frantically - then offer to lick
theirs!
- When serving the ladoos, shout "Catch!" and throw it at them.
- Talk with your mouth full and spray the samosa filling when
talking.
- Ask if anyone knows any good Punjabi swear words. When they
say no, proceed to tell them all the ones that you know. Direct
them at the grand mother for more effect!
- Ask if you can tattoo your name on their forehead - in
Punjabi.
- Cat whistle at the parents - especially at the mother (whether
you're a boy or a girl)!
If this doesn't do it, we suggest you go for the pink balloons at
the reception! |
