How Does An ABCD (American Born Confused Desi) Explain The "Ramayan"
To His Son
Son : Pop... what is the Ramayan stuff that all my friends in
school talk about..
Pop : So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and
people liked him. But, like, his step mom, or somethin', was kind of a
bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, you know, send this cool
dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or reserve or somethin'.
Since he was going, for like, somethin' like more than 10 years or
so, he decided to take his wife and his bro along. You know... so that
they could all chill out together. But dude, the forest was reeeeeeal
scary shit, really man, they had monkeys and devils and shit like
that.
But this dude, Ram, kicked their ass with darts, bows and arrows, so
it was fine. But then some bad boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up
his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, were our man,
and his bro Lakshman, pissed! And you don't piss this son-of-a-gunz
'coz, he just kicks ass and like, all the gods were with him.
So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram and his bro get an
army of monkeys. Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys,
just go along with me, OK. So, Ram, Lakhs, and their monkeys whip this
gansta's ass in his own hood. Anyways, by now, their time's up in the
forest and anyways, it gets kinda boring. You know no TVs or malls or
shit like that. So, they decided to hitch back home. He, his bro and
the wife are back home.
People thought, well, you know, at least they deserve somethin' nice
and they didn't have any bars and clubs in those days. So they couldn't
take them out for a drink, so the people decided to smoke. And they
also had some lamps, they lit the lamps too. So it was pretty cooool...
you know with all those fireworks really, they had some local band play
along with the fireworks, and you know what, dude, that was the very
first, no kidding, that was the very first musical-synchronized
fireworks. You know, like the 4th of the July stuff, but just more
cooler and stuff, you know.
And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started. Cool!!!
Diwali Rocks Maaaan! Got it...
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