Kids Say the Darndest Things

Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they keep
journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. Here
are a few examples:

-The future of "I give" is "I take."

-The parts of speech are lungs and air.

-The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

-A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

-Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

-(Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

-A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

-The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

-A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing
it through an aviator.

-Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

-The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

-The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top
and you sit on the bottom.

-We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our
silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

-One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

-One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

-To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until
it drips into the throat.

-The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

-The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

-Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply
religious feelings.

-The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the
top and plural at the bottom.

-Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

-The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

-In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

-Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

-In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

-A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.