The Chennai Traffic Aptitude Test

1. At the time of traffic accidents, I can shut out the outside world and focus completely on milking the situation for profit - ignoring all damage to public property and loss of life or limb.

yes no.

2. I have no problem with roasting in the hot summer sun for hours, in clothes that are two sizes too small.

yes no.

3. My waist size is (in inches)

46 78 223

4. I can effortlessly switch between 'aggressively rude', 'condescending' and 'sickeningly, groveling polite', depending on the social standing of the person I am talking to at the moment.

yes no.

5. If you come across a multiple traffic violation that includes drunken driving, driving without a license and loss to property, how would you evaluate the situation?

Rs. 1,500
Rs. 5,000 plus perks.
Rs. 100, plus the chance to deliver a 45 minute lecture.

6. I have no particular emotional need to be nice once in a while, even to women, children and the elderly.

yes no.

7. I am spineless enough to ignore big-time offences by government vehicles, while simultaneously harassing a nerdy college student for not having his anti-glare sticker in the proper place.

yes no.

8. I have an exaggerated opinion of my own importance in the larger scheme of things.

yes no.

9. Faced with a severe traffic jam, I have the ability to look busy by smacking auto rickshaws with my lathi, screaming angrily and running to and fro - all without doing a single thing to clear things up.

yes no.

10. In the space provided, write down whatever you know about police procedures, the law in general and basic human ethics.