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The Bomber
THE BOMBER
by Eric Ferguson
Copyright © 1995 by Eric Ferguson.
All rights reserved.
5732 Bossen Terrace #2
Minneapolis, MN 55417
voice/fax: (612)726-6364
<fergie@pioneerplanet.infi.net>
CHARACTERS:
Guard 1
Guard 2
The Bomber
The playwright wishes it known that this play was written in January of
1995,
fully three months before the bombing in Oklahoma City.
(The scene is a street outside the White House. Two guards are standing
at a
gate. From offstage we hear a car pull up and Guard 1 goes to meet it.
He
addresses the driver in a voice that shows the boredom of going through
the
same routine many times a day.)
GUARD 1
Good afternoon sir welcome to the White House how can I help you.
BOMBER
Hey man, I'm here to blow up the White House, boom! (He laughs, Guard 1
cuts
him off.)
GUARD 1
Please be on your way sir. (Guard 1 comes back on stage, followed by
Bomber.)
BOMBER
No really man, I got a bomb in my car.
GUARD 2
Sir, do you know how many times a day we hear that same story anymore?
Every
low-life in the country thinks that because other people are shooting at
the
White House, and crashing planes into it, that they have to do the same.
Now,
you don't really have a bomb in your car, and we'd really rather not
have to
bother arresting you, and searching the car, and so on and so on, so
please
just go.
BOMBER
Hey man, you can't do this, I got rights!
GUARD 2
(Still bored with the routine.) You really want to bomb the White House?
BOMBER
Yeah!
GUARD 2
Okay, I suppose we can put you on the list.
BOMBER
The list?
GUARD 2
(He flips through papers on a clipboard.) There's a lot of people ahead
of you
for blowing up the president. Let's see, well, you'll have to get behind
all
the Senate Republicans...
GUARD 1
No no, that's the list of people who think they ought to be president.
GUARD 2
Oh yeah. Here we go. Bob Dole, Jesse Helms, Newt Gingrich...
GUARD 1
No, that's the list of people who think they are president.
GUARD 2
Oh right. Here we go. I'll put you down sir, but you'll have to be
behind the
National Rifle Association and Right to Work Committee.
BOMBER
You don't think I'm serious, do you? Oh yeah, well, I'm going to bring
the
whole White House crashing down, right on top of the president...and her
husband. (He laughs uproariously.)
GUARD 1
Please wait just a mom |
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