"You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths."
Steven Wright.

"Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
Cher.

"A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over."
Dino Levi.

"Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you."
Mae West.

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."
Roseanne Barr.

"When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
Rita Rudner.

"No man is an island, but some of us are pretty long peninsulas."
Ashleigh Brilliant.

"If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow."
John Wayne.

"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.."
Diana Jordan.