
Kissing is about as personal a pastime as there is,and hence each
person will have their own style,philosophies, and 'moves.' At the
same time, kissing is an Exercise in Compromise. Any kisser who is
unwilling to adjust to their partner is... well... not a very
good kisser. Good kissing is all about finding middle ground (and
the negotiations can be a heck of a lot of fun!) No one is a good
kisser by themselves kissing requires coopera- tion and
teamwork from
Both People.As soon as you forget that, you risk
falling to the Dark Side of Kissing.
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Setting and situation also have a great deal to do with
successful kissing, and adjus tments must be made in regards to
these important elements. Only You can judge the various
external and internal factors which affect what kind of kissing
you are doing. Ignore them at your own risk... for a good kisser
takes EVERYTHING into consideration.The best thing to remember
when starting to kiss is to keep things simple. There is really
no need to get carried away with strange and exotic techniques,
nibbling, biting, groping, etc... especially when you're just
starting out. A kiss is generally great no matter how basic,and
every thing else just add things that can go wrong. Of course,
everything else definitely has its place (and how!)... but it's
really best to START SIMPLE. |
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Head movement is definitely one of themore subtle aspects of
successful kissing,but it can really add a great deal to the
experience. Coordinating all the different moving parts of a
kiss can seem pretty overwhelming, and it may help to you only
think about one at a time. However, a really good kisser manages
to get every thing moving at the same time (lips, tongue, head,
teeth) without any seeming effort. Each of these aspects should
complement each other, allowing the kiss to be playful or
passionate, coy or deman- ding, silly or serious at a moment
notice.Of course, like everythinhing else, moderation generally
the key to success Frantic head bobbing will only frighten and
confuse your partner, which can lead to an unsuccessful kissing
experien- ce. "I'm a really sensual guy who's really
into this kiss so let's have sex now" overdone head
movement. usually directly followed by a clumsy breast grope.
This just looks silly,and it breaks one of our cardinal rules of
kissing.The best idea is generally keep movement
constrained,espe- cially at the beginning of a kiss ( the
beginning of your kissing career) a little can go a long
way.Remember every thing should work together like a symphony,
with you as the conductor.Coordination is the key. |
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The tempo, or 'speed' of a kiss can greatly affect the overall
character of the kiss. From intense need to slow enjoyment, it's
all dictated by tempo. Generally speaking, the slower a kiss,
the more romantic it is,while faster kisses tend to be more
passionate. Changing tempo is vital aspect of good kissing...
changing tempo smoothly and appropriately is a sign of a GOOD
KISSER.When starting a kiss, the rule of thumb isto start slow.
This just makes sense, and it lets everyone get used to the
dynamics of that particular kiss. A slow start is a good
introduction... and sometimes the kiss should just stay slow.
Jumping into rapid tongue maneuvers can scare your partner,and
is rude to boot. Athletes always warm up before moving onto
serious play...
Why should kissing be any
different?
As the kiss gains intensity, though, the tempo should generally
increase. This increase should be fairly gradual, and correspond
to your partner's feedback. Ifthey are obviously enjoying it,
and seem to want to accelerate the whole experience, then up the
tempo! Kiss a bit harder and faster, use your tongue a little
more assertively... all the time gauging your partner's
response. If they respond in kind,then you're on the right
track.
A very important thing to learn about kissing tempo is that
variety is the spice of life. Kisses that stay the same speed
throughout get boring (if you can believe a boring kiss!)... so
keep things interesting. If you've got a fast a furious kiss
going on, don't be afraid to slow it down a bit. Gently lick or
nibble your partner's lips, kiss the corners of their mouth, or
just gently brush your lips together. Once things are slow,
speed them back up!.
The contrast is the important thing...tender kisses seem even
more tender if they immediately follow a good tonsil lashing,
and vice versa. Be careful not to go overboard with speed
changes, but don't be afraid of them either. Variety Is the
spice of life... and the spice of kissing.
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Spend part or all of a kissing session concentrating on just your
lips... no tongues allowed. Slowly slide your lips together,
enjoying the subtle feeling of each other's skin.Lick, nibble, kiss
each other's mouths... go slow, and really enjoy the sensations.
This exercise should make you more aware of your lips,and will add a
new layer to your kissing experience.own style, philosophies, and
'moves.' At the same time, kissing is an Exercise in Compromise. Any
kisser who is unwilling to adjust to their partner is...
well... not a very good kisser. Good kissing is all about finding
middle ground.One good way to help yourselves concentrateon the kiss
is to try to read each other's thoughts (and not in a neurotic,
annoying way) while kissing. Really try to see into your partner's
mind, and attempt to make a connection. Don't necessarily expect to
pick up images of the dog they had when they were three years old,
but rather use this as a way to really concentrate on yourpartner
and the kiss.
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The Lips Talking
about simple... where else to start than... The Lips! The most
basic element of any kiss, in fact vital andinsepara- ble from
the act itself. There is no kissing without lips (ask your local
chickens), so don't neglect them! On a physical level, take care
of your lips. Chapped lips (while a great Custom E-kiss) are no
fun at all to kiss. The same goes for rough, scabbed, or
otherwise
poor condition lips. Most of these conditions can be avoided
through the use of a simple lip balm... find one that suits your
preferences. Depending on what you like,you can get different
flavors, varying degree of healing and therapy ,SPF (sunscreen)
protection... the choices are endless.Use your chosen balm
regularly, not just when you are expect- ing some kissing...
it's just a good idea to take care of you- rself. Also try to
avoid applying balm directly before kissing... slimy lips can be
a turn off.Just make sure it's all absorbed before getting down
to business... and your lips will be soft, supple, and oh-so-
kissable. Once your lips are kissable, and you are in fact
kissing... you still can't neglect them! .The lips are the most
basic and important element of kissing, and should be used to
the best of their ability. Concentrate on feeling the friction
between your lips, how your lips match up, and how you're moving
them. This oft-overlooked element can add some real zing to your
kissing. Just try to remember that the tongue is not the be-all
and end-all of kissing... |
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DON'T NEGLECT YOUR LIPS! |
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Lots of great
kisses are, in fact, all lips. Ever since the French pulled a
Microsoft on the kissing market, tongues have gotten all the
attention. Many terrible kissing experie- nces are a direct
result of this over-reliance (and unskilled use of) the tongue.
Certainly the tongue is important to kissing... after all, what
beats a really good deep french kiss? But tongue use is some-
thing best eased into... and can easily be overdone. Even really
good tongue kisses can benefit from some variety... usually of
the lip-centered kind. Take a break from tongue lashing to
nibble, caress,lick, and gently explore your partner's lips.
Notice how good they feel against yours, and try different
things to make them feel even better. Your lips the building
blocks of great kissing. use them wisely (and often!). |
|
The Lips Talking
about simple... where else to start than... The Lips! The most
basic element of any kiss, in fact vital andinsepara- ble from
the act itself. There is no kissing without lips (ask your local
chickens), so don't neglect them! On a physical level, take care
of your lips. Chapped lips (while a great Custom E-kiss) are no
fun at all to kiss. The same goes for rough, scabbed, or
otherwise
poor condition lips. Most of these conditions can be avoided
through the use of a simple lip balm... find one that suits your
preferences. Depending on what you like,you can get different
flavors, varying degree of healing and therapy ,SPF (sunscreen)
protection... the choices are endless.Use your chosen balm
regularly, not just when you are expect- ing some kissing...
it's just a good idea to take care of you- rself. Also try to
avoid applying balm directly before kissing... slimy lips can be
a turn off.Just make sure it's all absorbed before getting down
to business... and your lips will be soft, supple, and oh-so-
kissable. Once your lips are kissable, and you are in fact
kissing... you still can't neglect them! .The lips are the most
basic and important element of kissing, and should be used to
the best of their ability. Concentrate on feeling the friction
between your lips, how your lips match up, and how you're moving
them. This oft-overlooked element can add some real zing to your
kissing. Just try to remember that the tongue is not the be-all
and end-all of kissing... |
|
DON'T NEGLECT YOUR LIPS! |
|
Lots of great
kisses are, in fact, all lips. Ever since the French pulled a
Microsoft on the kissing market, tongues have gotten all the
attention. Many terrible kissing experie- nces are a direct
result of this over-reliance (and unskilled use of) the tongue.
Certainly the tongue is important to kissing... after all, what
beats a really good deep french kiss? But tongue use is some-
thing best eased into... and can easily be overdone. Even really
good tongue kisses can benefit from some variety... usually of
the lip-centered kind. Take a break from tongue lashing to
nibble, caress,lick, and gently explore your partner's lips.
Notice how good they feel against yours, and try different
things to make them feel even better. Your lips the building
blocks of great kissing. use them wisely (and often!). |
|
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When kissing,
there is always one simple rule that must be obeyed: Remember to
breathe!!! Oxygen, you may have noticed,plays a fairly important
part in this whole "living" thing, so it probably shouldn't be
neglected. Really good kisses,howe- ver, have the tendency to
make one forget all that, as you'd rather keep kissing than take
a break for stupid air. Rest assured, breathe a little now, and
your kissing will go on a lot longer.
The actual mechanics of breathing during kissing are up to
various interpretations.Sometimes you can just rely on the old
nose to do its duty, and breath through that.Sometimes (cold and
flu season) For example that's just not possible. Then it's time
to get creative. As with everything else,it works out best if
you can work it into the flow of the kiss.
This is a great opportunity to give some feedback while taking
care of your oxygen needs. Just take a break to pant a bit, or
kiss their neck, or do a little
'lip
dancing'..
anything to break the seal of a deep kiss and fill those lungs.
Breathing is important, so don't forget it.often!).
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Once into the kiss,
the proper mindset has a lot to do with successful kissing. Too
often, the mind starts racing ahead, wondering where the kiss is
leading,worrying if everything is going right, and basically messing
things up. The single most important thing to remem- ber is to ENJOY
THE KISS. This is what it's all about... the simplest and greatest
of pleasures, the soft friction, the tender wetness.. kissing is
great. Possibly the greatest. So enjoy it.
The
best way to quiet the chattering brain is to simply concentrate on
the moment of the kiss. Really feel what your mouths, lips, tongues,
and bodies are doing. Kiss as if there is no moment outside of this,
there are no people outside of the 2 of you.
Trust us, your partner
will be able to tell if you are really concentrating, and will
appreciate it even if they aren't aware. Of course, kissing doesn't
generally require the level of concen- tration necessary to bend
spoons for example, and your partner may take that furrowed brow and
bulging eyes as a sign you're not totally enjoying yourself. By
concentration we mean really be INTO the kiss... don't be thinking
about a lot of other stuff. Odds are, you've invested a lot of time
and effort to get to this point.so
ENJOY
IT!.
Don't
miss the moment. savor it.Once you're really into a kiss, you're
probably already working toward that middle ground. Depending on how
they kiss, the situation, how you kiss, etc., there are lots of
factors going on. Just work on adjusting yourself a bit to fit to
their style, while helping them adjust to yours. Lead by example...
heck, the braver amongst us could just tell their partner what they
like (just be sure to do it in a positive manner, or you could
really ruin the mood.
Do what you like, and if you like something, let them know it (see
Feedback). If you don't reward the good and discourage the bad, how
will they ever learn?
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This aspect of kissing focuses on the age-old debate:
What do I look at Eyes?
open or closed?
Do I look like a fish?
Sadly, we can't really give you a definitive answer on this one.
We do find it best to keep your eyes open at least while 'going
in' for the kiss, to avoid unpleasant collisions or total
misses. Though you can often play these off with lines like "No
baby, I really meant to kiss your eyebrow" it's generally best
to at least try to hit the lips. Once engaged, however, general
decorum usually calls for closed eyes, at least for starters.
You may find that eyes closed really help you concentrate on
other things, like the kiss itself (see Mindset).Eyes open is
also a very viable option,however, and should not be dismissed
out of hand. Open eyes may just be a way to sneak a peek at your
kissing partner, whether to gauge their reaction, reassure
yourself that yes, they really ARE that good looking, or any
other reconnaissance.
Eyes full open can also be intense, in sort of a spiritual
connec- tion, windows-to-the-soul sorta way. Like every other
aspect of kissing, you'll have to find your own style...but for
starters, eyes closed generally helps with precision and
concentration, two of the most important aspects for new
kissers. |
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Kissing, as with most mouth-related past times, can be a water
sport. Saliva isobviously inseparable from the mouth, so you've
gotta learn to deal with it. And likemany other aspects of
kissing, spit control treads a fine line between ecstasy and
awfulness. The one issue that comes uprepeatedly on accounts of
bad kisses is saliva control... or lack thereof.
So get a hold of your spit!.A good kiss should definitely be a
little moist... nothing grows in the desert! An ofcourse, if
you're using your tongue at all, the kiss WILL be somewhat wet.
This is fine.The trouble lies when "a little
" turns into a torrent".
Very few
people like to be doused with drool... especially early on in
the kissing experience. So start fairly dry, getting a bit
wetter as the kiss progresses.If you feel like there's entirely
too much drool happening, just swallow some of it.Yes, you will
swallow some of your partner's saliva. Sorry, but that's all
part of kissing. |
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